How To Make It Through Life Transitions by Susan Kraus Whitmore
www.psychologytoday.com
You’re happy with your life, so change is the last thing you want. However, life doesn’t always comply with our wishes, and now you’re faced with a major transition.
One of the toughest transitions you might ever have to make, for instance, involves moving to a new apartment or city. You also find that there are times when you have to adapt to family, friends, and employers. For instance, your adult child wants to get married, your best friend’s mother dies, you abruptly lose your job, or your boss gives you a completely new set of responsibilities. Dealing with these changes can be tough, but there are tips, based on research of stressful events, which can get you through even the toughest of them.
It’s essential to view stress not as a threat, but as a challenge. Stress is what you consider it to be, as many researchers like to say. An event that you’re afraid of can be turned into an occasion to help you rise above and succeed. It’s also helpful to appreciate the benefits of change. Changes in routine can stimulate your nervous system and allow you to grow new brain pathways.
Remembering the times you’ve successfully navigated other transitions in the past is another vital step. As you face a new challenge, use that knowledge to give you strength. Yes, your stolen iPhone was a traumatic experience and expensive to deal with, but you dealt with it. That same strength can be called upon again when needed.
Researchers point out that social support is one of the most significant keys to successfully managing change. Even an online community of people going through similar experiences can give you an emotional boost, as well as some practical tips. There are many examples of tragedy survivors interviewed on the news who maintain their faith and optimism. Watching or reading about them can give you the reassurance that it’s possible to adapt to even the most stressful events.
Maintaining focus on the positive aspects of the new situation should also be a top priority. It’s possible you’re moving to a new city and you’d rather not, but now that you have to move, what can you think of that’s beneficial? You can get rid of things you don’t need, and you might be in a new community where you can make new friends. Hopeful signs in every transition are there, and you’re bound to feel better if you look for them instead of wallowing in self-pity.
And of course, we all need to acknowledge that change is inherent to life. Without change, our life paths would be horribly boring. You may not be seeking change, but when it seeks you, take heart in the fact that no one’s life ever stands completely still. People enter your world and leave it; material possessions come and go, and careers always involve new situations. No one ever gets through life without undergoing some type of change, so when it happens, the right thing to do is capitulate instead of fight.
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